


Equipero 4:  The Final Conflict

by Meri



Series: Equipero Series [4]
Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: AU, Forced Marriage, M/M, pre-HBP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-06
Updated: 2008-01-06
Packaged: 2017-10-12 00:02:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/118608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meri/pseuds/Meri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snape figures it out.  Even if he doesn't want to admit it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Equipero 4:  The Final Conflict

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** She owns it all, not me. But I bet Snape likes me better.
> 
>  **Note 1:** This is the final (fourth) installment of the Equipero series that I started back in 2004. I probably wouldn't have written more than the first story, but Regan_v liked it, so I've written another part each year for her birthday. Each story can stand on its own, so you don't have read any of the others to understand this one. And quite obviously, it's AU after OotP.
> 
>  **Note 2:** Many thanks to Beth H. for a speedy beta.
> 
>  **Note 3:** Once again, written in honor of Regan_V's Birthday

It took three days for Snape to acknowledge that Potter might not be coming back. Not that he cared that much, of course. In fact, under most circumstances, he'd be glad to finally be rid of the pest. It was just that as with everything Potter did, his timing was poor. Snape felt like he might be coming down with a cold. His chest felt like one of his larger potions tomes was sitting on it, inhibiting his breathing.

Snape had been predicting this day for years. Ever since their sham of a marriage had been perpetuated on them by the late great Albus Dumbledore, in fact. In theory, it had been a good idea. And it had severed both of their bonds with Voldemort. The reality, of course, was a different matter.

Potter, being the typical Gryffindor that he was, had gone out and done what he was supposed to do, ridding the world of Voldemort once and for all. The whole thing should have ended then, but no, Potter decided they should stay together after he finished school. Snape had known it was a bad idea, had said so, but Potter hadn't listened. They'd lived together throughout all of Potter's Auror training and the planning and opening of Snape's apothecary.

He hadn't expected the relationship to last -- a year at the most. Tenacious bastard that he was, Potter had hung on, and for whatever reason, Snape had let him. Snape sighed, the pressure in his chest getting tighter. He should take a cold potion before this got any worse.

A pop of Apparition startled Snape into looking up from the empty fire place he'd been staring at. Potter stood in their sitting room, his hair standing up in all directions, still wearing the clothes he'd left in three days ago.

Before Snape could find a suitable invective, beyond thank God, you're back, which he wouldn't, couldn't say, Potter grinned at him.

"Hermione said you'd called them yesterday, looking for me." He sounded as if that pleased him a great deal. Maybe it did.

For Snape, it had been a momentary lapse. He stood up to tower over Potter. "You were inconsiderate enough not to tell me where you were going, nor when --"

"Never mind. I know it's all my fault." Potter advanced on him, crowding him against the wall. "Just shut up."

Snape opened his mouth to issue a blistering comment on what he thought about Potter's rudeness, but found his mouth filled with Potter's tongue, instead.

The hard knot in his belly softened, and his lungs felt suddenly clearer as Potter's scent invaded them. With a small sigh, Snape opened his mouth wider, his arms moving to around Potter's back, holding him tightly as Snape tried to take control of the kiss.

Unfortunately, Potter was having none of that. He pressed Snape harder into the wall, his hand waving as he did so. Snape felt a tingle and he was naked. Another wave of Potter's hand and he was lighter, and Potter was pressing his legs up.

Between his back held tight against the wall, and the feather light spell, Snape was easily manipulated into the position Potter wanted.

Snape's heart pounded and his already hard prick started to ache. It had only been a few days, but he needed this. He grunted, hoping to get Potter to move things along. But the bloody prat seemed more interested in licking his nipples.

Under most circumstances, Snape wouldn't have minded the detour, in fact, there was many a time in the past when he'd encouraged it. Tonight, however, was not one of those times.

"Potter," Snape ground out, not bothering to hide his frustration with the proceedings.

"Give me a second." Potter returned his mouth to its previous location.

Snape knew a lost cause when he was one. He tried to force himself to relax and wait Potter out. It was never easy.

When Potter's fingers finally breached him, Snape exhaled in relief. The leisurely pace continued until Snape was ready to scream. He whimpered as Potter pressed into him; after so many years, Potter knew exactly where to thrust and how to reduce him to mindlessness.

It was quick. The pleasure crested, and Snape came with another whimper. They ended up in a tumbled heap on the floor.

Snape stirred. If he didn't get up right now, he was going to end up stiff and not in any way that would help his mood. The problem between them was pathetically obvious, and even if he would never voice it, he wasn't unaware. He suspected that Potter knew as well. That was a humiliation he did not want to consider.

Potter moved closer, his face burrowing into Snape's chest and then leaning up for Snape to kiss him. He supposed he could oblige for a while. The feel of Potter's mouth under his was something he'd never grow tired of.

That was part of the problem. He'd grown too complacent

"Where have you been?" Snape asked, pulling back.

"Do you even care?" Potter nuzzled his down his neck, and across his chest, his tongue sliding across a nipple, his teeth worrying it.

For a moment, Snape didn't care about anything other than that. He took a breath. "No. I don't care one way or another."

Potter opened his eyes and smirked up at him. "Yes. You do."

It was galling that Potter thought he knew him so well. "If you knew the answer than why did you bother to ask?"

"To see if you were ready to admit it." Potter licked again, clearly trying to distract him. And if he continued Potter would, which might not be such a bad thing. He hated these conversations. And really, they'd had too many of them.

He forced himself to stop Potter. "There is nothing to admit." And as long as he could keep that lie from Potter he'd be ahead of the game. Safe.

"And therein lies our problem."

"Enough of this." Snape pushed himself up, dislodging Potter as he did so, and shivering as the warmth was removed. "We don't have a problem beyond your rudeness in disappearing without a word."

"We had words, if you'll recall. You said you didn't care what I did or with whom. " Potter stood, too.

"I don't. Beyond the inconvenience of not knowing where you were." He reached down and picked up his neatly folded clothes. Potter had learned a few decent spells over the years.

"Right. It's all my fault." Potter his hands on his hips, totally unselfconscious. He was a far cry from the boy who wanted the lights out on their bonding night.

"You were the one who left." Snape folded his arms over his chest, gearing up for the inevitable row. This was all Potter's doing and he wasn't about to let him forget that.

"And you were the one who told me to --" Potter stopped abruptly and took a breath. "No. We are not going to do it this way." He picked up his scattered clothes, and started to dress.

Snape blinked. What had just happened? "What nonsense are you --"

"Oh, shut up," Potter snapped, something hard and unyielding in his tone.

"Just where do you --"

"I said shut up. And for once, listen to me." The words, while softly spoken, reverberated off the walls nonetheless.

Sometimes Snape forgot that Potter was an Auror and one of the most powerful wizards in the world and not the reckless boy that he had bonded to.

Snape looked at his face. Potter wasn't angry nor was he ready to explode. In short, not anything like his usual self in this situation. An unpredictable Potter was something he wasn't ready to deal with.

This was not a conversation to have naked and he paused for a moment, to dress. "I'm listening."

"The reason I left was because --"

Now it seemed they were back on a familiar track, Snape scowled at him. "You wanted something I couldn't give you."

"Let me finish. Then you can say whatever you want."

Snape wasn't going to answer that. He simply glared at Potter, waiting. He half expected Potter to hem and haw, in that childish way he had.

With his shoulders squared, Potter met his gaze head-on and there was nothing of the boy he once knew in Potter's face. "I kept thinking that because you keep saying you don't care about me --"

"I don't --"

Potter pointed his finger at him, and Snape closed his mouth with a click of his teeth. Fine, he'd give Potter his say, and then they could get back to the way things should be.

"That's what I thought, too. You're always telling me to go out and sleep with other people. That you wouldn't care. That there really isn't a relationship here, just sex. Well, I got tired of hearing it."

Snape knew the truth even before Potter said it. The knowledge twisted bile in his gut.

Potter took a deep breath. "Well, I did something about it."

"Do you think I care to hear about your conquests?" Snape was quite pleased that his voice sounded annoyed rather than anything else. The cold symptoms were returning and he might need that potion after all. Possibly something to settle his stomach as well.

"Actually, I do. I do think that you care. Because, you know what?" Potter gripped his upper arm and when Snape would have left the room, rather than hear the rest of that sentence. "It was --"

"Spare me. I don't care." Snape shouted as he tried to wrench out of Potter's surprisingly strong grip.

"Yeah. You do. It wasn't...horrible. But it was --"

"Stop." Snape didn't want to hear that he was being replaced. That he had not measured up. But that was the story of his life. So, he'd have to deal with it and go on. Now the only objective was to get out of this with as much of his dignity in tact as possible. "Just stop."

Potter put both hands on his arms. Snape refused to look up. He'd already humiliated himself enough for one day. He wasn't going to give Potter any more satisfaction.

"You're still not listening to me." Potter's voice was soft. "I won't say I didn't enjoy it because physically, I did. But I don't want to do it again. It wasn't half of what we just did."

Snape was breathing hard and couldn't quite hear what all Potter was saying. Against his better judgment, he did look at Potter.

"But I can't keep doing this alone. You have to admit it means something to you, too."

"What are you talking about?" Even if he knew what Potter wanted, he wasn't going to be able to say it. Why did dealing with Potter always have to be so bloody difficult? He'd never been malleable, but lately, he'd been unmovable.

"You have to admit that _I_ mean something to you. That this," Potter waved his hand between them, "means something."

The vise around his chest eased just a bit. This wasn't as bad as he'd first thought. Indeed, it sounded exactly like where they had left things three days ago. If he didn't have to say it then, then he wasn't going have to now.

"Snape...Severus. Please. I can't live like this." The note of pleading in Potter's tone startled him.

"Leave then." But he didn't mean it. They both knew that he didn't. Potter wouldn't leave. At least, Snape didn't think he would. He came back this last time. But if Potter did leave again, then it would be for good. There would be no reprieve. And the nights would be endless.

"Do you want me to? Because I will." Potter's eyes were suspiciously bright.

The bile in Snape's gut was trying to force its way out of his belly. Potter was changing the rules without telling him. This was not going the way it should have done. But he couldn't say something like that. He'd never said it. Not to anyone. And even if he did admit to something, Potter would leave anyway. Perhaps not today or tomorrow, but he would leave. It was inevitable.

Potter cleared his throat. "I'm waiting for an answer."

And Snape couldn't give him the answer he wanted. He opened his mouth and nothing came out. He couldn't say no, don't leave, but he couldn't tell Potter to leave either. "Do what you want. You always do."

"So, you don't care if I leave?" Potter asked his tone deceptively mild.

Snape knew that tone. It had steel under it. "I didn't say that."

Potter moved across the flat towards the bedroom. "You don't care?"

"About what?"

At the bedroom door, Potter shook his head. "I can't keep doing this. I won't come back this time."

Of course he wouldn't. Snape knew that. His heart pounded painfully as he watched Potter turn into the bedroom. For a second, he couldn't move, but then he forced himself to stand in the doorway, watching as Potter pulled his truck from the bottom of the closet and resize it. He waved a hand and the drawer in the cupboard opened and Potter's clothes began to fold themselves into the truck.

Potter's eyes were wet and he breathing was labored, as if this were actually painful for him. They had been coming to this point since that first night when they'd tossed a coin to see who topped.

"This is ridiculous!" Snape moved into the room. He waved his wand silently, and watched in satisfaction as Potter's clothes moved back into the cupboard. "I am not going to allow you to disrupt my life."

Potter folded his arms over his chest. "I need more than what you're willing to give me. I thought I could live without it, but I can't."

"You just said it wasn't what we have," Snape said, glaring. He hated this kind of emotional display and Potter knew it.

"The last few days have taught me --"

"Stop." Snape was appalled at the screech that had come out of his mouth. "Why are you doing this now?"

"Because as worthless as it was to sleep with someone I don't care about, it was worse to come home to you telling me the same thing. There should be more to it than that. More to _us_ than that."

"There is no --"

"Don't say there is no us. Because there is, and you know it."

Snape closed his eyes. He hated feeling this flayed open and vulnerable. "What do you want from me?"

"I want you to admit I mean something to you. That you acknowledge the bond between us."

"There is no denying the bond." Why was Potter putting them both through this?

Potter stood there, waiting for something else. Some declaration that Snape couldn't make. He could admit that he didn't want Potter to leave, but he rather thought that wasn't what Potter was looking for.

Oh, fuck this.

He took a step forward, and pulled Potter against him. "I don't understand you. But this is real." He pressed his mouth to Potter's, sucking gently on Potter's full bottom lip. His hand slid into Potter's hair at the nape of his neck and held him, tilting his face up the necessary few inches for maximum impact.

Potter moaned softly and Snape could feel the moment when he surrendered to the reality of them. And then, surprisingly, Potter pulled back.

"No. We are not going to resolve this with sex."

"Why not?" That was pretty much how the resolved all of their disputes and Snape saw no reason to change successful tactics.

"Because it's more than that." Potter met his eyes. "Or it should be."

Snape took a step back. He was sure that Potter would leave. And he was also sure that if he said something Potter would use it as fodder for ridicule at some point in the future. But he wouldn't leave right now. And Snape could always say he hadn't been telling the truth. He was fairly sure that Potter knew the truth of it. Snape sighed. "Fine. It's true."

"What's true?"

Snape could be generous, if forced. "That I don't hate you anymore."

Potter shook his head.

Damn him to all seven levels of hell. Snape cleared his throat. "Fine. It's possible that I...might care for you."

And Potter laughed. "That's the worst declaration I think I've ever heard."

"You weren't expecting me to say I love you or some rot like that, were you? You'll be waiting a very long time if you're hoping for that."

Potter laughed again. "No. Of course not. I wouldn't expect you to know something like that if you tripped over it."

"Deal with it." Because Snape knew in his heart of hearts that he would never be able to say those words. But he relaxed infinitesimally. "What about you?"

"What about me? I'm not the one going around saying I don't care."

"You've actually never said anything, one way or another. And you were the one who was...." Snape couldn't say it without wincing so he closed his mouth.

"Was what? You've always said we had no commitment."

"I've stayed for all of these years."

"So have I."

"I didn't --" He still wasn't going to say it.

"Don't even think about it. You may have said you didn't care, but I do." Potter pointed his finger at him again.

"Keep pointing that at me, and I'll hex it off."

"Will you?" Potter's eyes narrowed. "I need this finger and so do you."

Potter crooked it and Snape felt as spasm of memory inside him. "Are we done?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Because it's time to move on to the make-up part of this." Snape waved his wand again and Potter's trunk shrunk itself and settled back onto the floor of their closet.

"Trust you to have all your priorities right." Potter climbed into their bed.

"I don't see you arguing with me," Snape said, settling on top of Potter. "Now shut up and put that mouth to better use.

"I think I can do that." Potter rolled so that he was on top and cast that spell again, and they were both naked.

Potter kissed his way down Snape's body, his mouth much more talented at kissing than talking. When Potter's mouth slid over his aching prick, there was part of him that wanted to relax into Potter's mouth, and hands and tongue and let it happen as it always did. Something in him rebelled against that and he touched Potter's head.

Potter looked up, his lips red, a question in his eyes.

"Don't finish me," Snape said.

Potter blinked. "Really?"

"You have an objection?"

"No. Of course not. It's just that you never want to --"

"I do tonight."

He didn't say anything else as he returned to what he was doing. The sensations of Potter's mouth had the power to overwhelm him, but Snape held on, not letting himself flow too far outside himself. After a short time, he touched Potter's head again, drawing him up for a long kiss. There was something about the musky taste on Potter's tongue that turned him on amazingly.

"God, I love the way you kiss," Potter murmured.

He said things like that and expected Snape to believe them. Maybe he should. Potter _had_ come home. And had promised to stay. It was too much to hope that it would be forever, but at this point, Snape was resigned to taking what he could get.

Potter went easily onto his back, welcoming Snape into his arms. A warm feeling invaded Snape's chest as Potter melted against him. He pressed his mouth softly to Potter's, swirling his tongue along his full lips. Potter moaned and tightened his grip on Snape's body, thrusting his hard prick against Snape's hip.

Snape pulled back so that the contact wasn't as intense. "None of that."

"Get on with it, then," Potter ordered as if he were in charge.

That wouldn't do, now would it. Snape slid a hand over Potter's belly, the smooth skin contracting under his touch. He leaned down to trace his tongue across Potter's defined pectoral muscles, and Potter wiggled, not trying to get away, though. After a few more seconds of that, he moved on to worry at Potter's nipple. That made Potter arch up under his mouth.

"Please, Severus."

Snape didn't deign to answer him, moving on slowly, turning Potter over, and licking slowly down his back. When Potter tried to press into the bedding, clearly looking for stimulation, Snape withdrew again, slapping his arse just enough for a tiny sting.

"Hey," Potter complained, rising up and looking over his shoulder. "Don't hit me."

"That was hardly hitting you. No touching."

Potter subsided. "Fine. You might move things along, then."

"I might. Or might not."

Snape licked along the crease of Potter's arse, and then held the cheeks apart and licked again. All the way down.

Potter nearly came off the bed, shouting. "Damnation!"

"No. Just me." Snape bent his head again, concentrating his efforts. Potter mumbled gibberish into the pillows and thrust back into his mouth with each lick.

"Please. Please. Please," Potter moaned.

It took a second or two for Snape to rearrange him into a comfortable position for both of them. Then he was sinking slowly into Potter's heat. Oh, and it _had_ been too long since the last time he'd done this. He never remembered how good this felt.

For a while, he set a leisurely pace, thrusting slowly, deeply into Potter, aiming for the prostate with each thrust. Potter moaned and thrashed beneath him, clearly now beyond words. Just what Snape wanted.

Soon, though, it was too hard to hold back, and he had to speed up. He reached around Potter to take his wet prick into his hand. Potter came nearly as soon as he touched him, wet heat slicking his hand.

After that, Snape let himself go, thrusting hard and fast, chasing after that elusive moment. He found it, and reveled in it. There was nothing in the world so good as this. Nothing that compared to being with Potter, holding him, fucking, or being fucked by him.

Snape pulled Potter into his arms, and held him close.

"Why is everything so damnably hard with you?" Potter asked, his voice slurred with approaching sleep.

"You don't really expect an answer to that, do you?"

"No."

"You're learning." Snape tightened his arms around Potter and waited to hear his breathing even out, signaling that Potter had fallen asleep. He exhaled a soft breath and listened to Potter snore.

\--finis  
January 2008


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